Close to Death
My name is Stevie Rudko, and for a long time, I was lost in a life of darkness, addiction, and self-destruction. Growing up, I never imagined I would become a heroin addict, but the allure of the music/fashion world pulled me in. I rose quickly, building a reputation in the industry. The parties, the connections, the fast life—it all seemed glamorous on the surface. But behind the scenes, I was spiraling out of control.
Heroin became my escape, my comfort. It numbed the pain, dulled the noise, and for a while, I thought it made everything easier. But addiction doesn’t give without taking more. It consumed my life. The drugs turned everything into chaos, and soon I was living a double life—one as the person everyone saw in the spotlight and another as a desperate, broken man.
Then came the night everything changed. I got into an altercation, one I can hardly even remember clearly now, and I ended up with my throat slit. I shouldn’t have survived, but somehow, I did. That moment, lying in a pool of my own blood, was the first time I truly faced death despite the countless overdoses. This time I was present as my life slowly seeped out of me. A peace came over me, I was tired, I was alone, I was dying. The last words I heard before dying were "I've never seen someone so calm in this state of injury." I flat lined...... Three days maybe four later I awoke in the ICU. They told me that the doctor refused to let me go and fought for hours. God bless that man. I realized how fragile life was, how easily it could be taken, and how far I had fallen from the person I wanted to be. I needed change but where to start?
Fast track (heal, still addicted, overdose again, rehab, moved states, fell in love).
In the aftermath of that near-fatal experience, I found out I was going to be a father. Becoming a dad changed everything. When I held my son for the first time seconds after birth, he peered into my eyes and I felt as if God was looking into my soul. I didn’t just have myself to think about anymore. I had a new life depending on me—a life I wanted to protect, guide, and love. It was the push I needed to seek answers, to leave behind the emptiness of addiction and trauma.
But sobriety wasn’t the only transformation. As I healed physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I began seeking something greater than myself. I found Orthodoxy—(Death to the world) a faith steeped in tradition, reverence, and truth. The teachings, the discipline, the community—it all gave me a foundation I never had before. It anchored me in a way that no high ever could.
Orthodoxy didn’t just save me from addiction; it saved my soul. Through faith, I found peace. I became a better father, a better man. And though my journey has been long and painful, I can look back now and see how every broken piece of my life led me to where I am today—a place of redemption, love, and hope.
Article by Stevie Rudko